No matter what corner of the world we are in, this season often brings to light the feeling that whatever we are doing is not enough. We have not bought enough, or written enough, or called enough or exercised enough, or volunteered enough.
We have spent the holidays on three continents in four years and no matter what, the feeling always arrives on time. It makes sense then, that a desire to close those gaps comes along with the new year. We are going to make resolutions to shore up all the ways we are not enough!
Here are the 10 most commonly broken New Year’s Resolutions from Time Magazine:
- Lose Weight and Get Fit
- Quit Smoking
- Learn Something New
- Eat Healthier Diet
- Get Out of Debt and Save Money
- Spend More Time with Family
- Travel to New Places
- Be Less Stressed
- Drink Less
This year let us say, enough is enough! We don’t break resolutions because we are not strong enough, or focused enough or because we don’t have enough time. We break them because the very act of setting them, communicates that we believe we are, in this moment of our lives, NOT ENOUGH!
Perhaps the word resolution is misunderstood. A resolution is, “The mental state or quality of being resolved or resolute; firmness of purpose.” Nowhere in the definition does it say, “What is wrong with you and how will you fix it?
This year, we can focus on our resolve and firmness of purpose to live deliberately in each moment of each day. If we focus on what is working and come from a place of gratitude, the weight falls off, the bank account magically grows and the time to live with purpose lays out the red carpet across continents.
Thinking about the new year from a place of what is going well feels like momentum rather than a contract soon to be broken. The only explanation for this is the belief that we are enough. It does not mean goals and project plans won’t get set. It means they will flow more easily and bring more joy because we are always more productive when we feel good.
Build Resolve Not Resolutions
1. Create a list of all that is working in your life today because that is the fastest way to experience more ease and joy.
Spend a few minutes today jotting down things in your life that worked to bring you joy and fulfillment in the past 12 months. For now, ignore any gaping holes you seem to gravitate toward, and focus only on appreciation for your experience.
Be specific and you will find yourself on the fast track to fulfillment.
2. Appreciate those who love you unconditionally because that is where real momentum takes hold.
Take inventory of the people you spend time with. Who among them supports you when you are moving in a direction that feels exciting to you? When you have momentum, who contributes to that feeling of inspiration? These are the people to thank today, whether it is just in your heart or in some external way.
Give thanks that these people exist in your experience and watch the new year crack open.
3. Manage your pace because it is healthy to slow down.
There is a frenetic pace at the beginning of each new year. Everyone is ready to get down to business and the pace is not sustainable. This year, when you feel like you must rush forward, stop. Find a place of true momentum by appreciating something about your present moment, then, and only then, proceed.
Watch how your path is altered by this commitment to an inspiring pace.
To have resolve means to “transform or determine.” This year let us be determined to transform our belief about resolutions from one of lack to one of appreciation.
And you can start by producing appreciative thoughts about yourself.