I visited Jamaica for the first time in 2015 and after my 10 day solo trip, I went home and informed everyone that I would be moving to Jamaica. I didn’t know how, I didn’t know when, but what I thought I knew was that I wouldn’t get married again and I wanted to live a simple and spiritual life.
I was born, raised, and lived the first few decades of my adult life in the Bay Area in California. I faced burnout as a public school educator and became deeply tired of the never-ending hustle, bustle, exhaustion, traffic, and the life where I lived for the weekends only to find that I was usually too tired to truly enjoy the time I had off (and most of my time off was spent doing laundry, cleaning, and getting ready for the next work week…boo).
In 2018, I moved to Jamaica with everything that I owned fitting in 2 carry-on backpacks (the same year my youngest son turned 18…not a coincidence). My 20 year life as a mom, special education teacher, and administrator took a dramatic shift as I had no solid plan for what I would do in Jamaica, how I would earn money, or even where I would live in the long term. What I did have was money in the bank from cashing out my retirement early and an amazingly strong desire to tread lightly on this planet while creating a new life based in simplicity, ease, and harmony.
When I packed my crystals, my sons laughed at me saying that while I was essentially homeless and now the proud owner of pretty much nothing, I was moving to an island and carrying around rocks. It’s so crystal clear to me now that this life is all about what’s uniquely important to each of us (pun intended) and following our heart is truly the way to create a life that brings joy and change to the world. And the irony about my “rocks” today is that I am now a practicing Reiki Master and those very same crystals are still part of my everyday life. I chose wisely when I packed those 2 carry-on backpacks, my sons (who knew?!).
In 2020, I surprised myself and everyone else who knew me by getting married in Jamaica (these Caribbean men can be quite persuasive!). It’s now 2023, and when my husband and I moved last year to our current little house, it took us 4 hours to pack our entire 2 bedroom house and move to the next one.
It’s been a learning process for my husband because he loves to buy me little gifts to show me his love and care and I’ve had to gently show him that’s not how I best receive love (yes, we’ve done the love language tests and it was super helpful). Now he will buy me my favorite snack or do something nice for me to show me he loves me.
When we have “extra” money, we spend it on food that we don’t normally buy or we go do something to have a new experience. Leave the cute little necklace at the shop, my love, however, I’ll take that little jar of Nutella that you brought me with a grateful smile (I live in the countryside of Jamaica so it’s truly the little things that can feel so exciting, like Nutella).
My journey to reduce the amount of stuff that I owned began long before I moved to Jamaica. It began with my desire to simplify my life and as I began to take stock of how I was living, it became clear to me quickly that the amount of stuff that I owned was not adding harmony to my life; in fact, it was taking it away.
Thinking and wishing for the latest whatever I wanted took up so much energy. Then when I bought whatever it was I thought I had to have, I realized the amount of time and energy it took to maintain it. More things to clean, more things to take care of, more energy and time going out of my life and into these inanimate objects in my home.
Here are 3 steps I took to begin my journey to not only owning less, but to truly and deeply wanting less.
1. I started to look at everything in my house as time.
Those 14 coffee mugs I have to choose from each morning equal time: Time spent working to make the money to buy them. Time spent planning to buy them and then actually buying them. Time spent taking care of them. Time spent deciding how to store, display, or use them.
Then I asked myself: how do I want to spend my time? It became immediately clear that there was a disconnect between how I wanted to spend my time and how I was actually spending it. I realized that the more clothes I owned, the more laundry I had to do. The more dishes I owned, the more I had to wash (and why did I need 14 coffee mugs when I lived by myself anyway??).
Having less material items began to mean that I had more time, and for me, time is the ultimate and priceless gift that truly brings harmony into my life.
2. I made a list of what is truly important in my life.
I sat down, got really quiet, and asked my highest self: what is important in this life? What do I value? I spent weeks contemplating this, journaling, meditating, talking to my friends and family. I decided then that I valued freedom, harmony, and connection. None of those equaled 14 coffee mugs or tiny glass figurines of mermaids (I do love mermaids, though!).
Then I asked myself: would owning less stuff bring me closer to living a life that aligned with my values? The answer was a clear and resounding yes. Less stuff meant more freedom, more harmony, and more time for connection.
3. I started with minimizing my clothing.
It felt overwhelming at first to figure out where to begin with reducing my stuff, so here’s what worked for me. I didn’t own a dresser, so most of my clothes were hanging in the closet and as the volume increased, I had started folding clothes on the shelf in the closet and eventually bought Tupperware drawers to store them in.
My clothes were taking on a life of their own and they were ruling my life; I felt anxiety every time I opened my closet. It took me forever each day to decide what to wear and then I would let laundry pile into amazing mountains because I had no need to wash much on the regular. So when it was time for laundry, it was a big affair (and I lived in an apartment building with a shared laundry facility so it was really a thing to get laundry done).
I decided to start only having clothes hanging in my closet so whatever was folded and stacked would either have to go or be hung on an available hanger (and I refused to buy any more hangers). If it couldn’t fit it in my closet on the hangers that I had, it had to go. Once I shifted to only hanging clothes, then I started each week choosing 5 pieces of clothing on the hangers that had to go. This process took months and I did it without pressuring myself (valuing my harmony).
At some point during the process of pairing down my clothes, something deeply shifted inside of me and I was like a madwoman wanting to get rid of everything. What started out feeling overwhelming became this intense feeling of lightness and freedom as I watched my stuff gradually disappear from my apartment and I had more time in my life. I even started joking that I needed to join a nudist colony because I didn’t want any more clothes! With every item that left my life, I felt lighter and more free.
I often return to the contemplation of what I truly value in life and if my choices of how to live are in alignment with what I value. At this time in my life, I have whittled my values down to one simple thing: harmony. I know deeply that keeping my material possessions to a minimum contributes greatly to the harmony in my life and allows me time and space to do more of what I love or even to just simply be and do nothing.
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About the Author: Deanna Thomas is an untethered soul living an intentionally simple life from her heart. She is also a mother, wife, sister, friend, Usui Reiki Master Teacher, Yogi, teacher, licensed massage therapist, and writer. Read more from Deanna at calmspiritwellbeing.com