Are you enough in the roles you take on? Enough of a parent, a wife, a husband, a co-worker, a boss, a mentor or a friend?
You are enough. Whoever you are, is enough.
So, is it wrong to want to be more?
It depends on what you’re trying to become more of. We have to accept where we are and who we are while striving for more and without living in discontent.
I became a mother 2 1/2 years ago. It was a bumpy road as I entered this chapter of my life because I was very hard on myself.
I thought I made so many mistakes with my first little girl and therefore I never felt like I was the mother who she deserved to have.
I blamed myself for the neck condition she had, for her having to wear a corrective helmet for 8 months and for having to go through physical therapy.
I thought I could have done more to prevent these things. I thought I should have had more knowledge as a mother. I used to beat myself up and constantly wish that I could have prevented it.
Now, you would never know that we had to try so hard to get her to be able to turn her head 90 degrees to the right or that we worried so much about her meeting certain physical developmental milestones.
My husband and I dedicated ourselves to helping her overcome her obstacles and did the best we could to correct them. But when we were in the midst of it, I felt so guilty. I blamed myself for these set backs. I blamed myself for not doing a better job with her. I did not feel like I was enough.
Now I see how great I did with her and how I’m still doing a great job with her and her younger sister. As a baby, I helped her learn sign language, nursery rhymes and yoga. I played with her, laughed with her and took her on adventures. I’ve always loved her and cared for her to my best ability.
There was no way I could have done things differently. Children come with different obstacles that parents must deal with as they arise. That’s all that I could have done and that’s exactly what I did.
Whether you’re a parent or not, it’s easy to put ourselves in the box of “not enough” when we think we should be something different in a certain role we have in life. The reality is, we already are enough.
We’re enough and yet it’s also acceptable to want to be more.
If we can strive to do better than we did the day before while also accepting what happened in the past and moving forward with knowledge we have gained, we can pursue being more.
We already have everything we need to “become more”, we have what it takes. We already are enough because this “more” is inside of us.
That’s the beauty of becoming more.
It’s always available to us and we can be confident knowing that each and every day, whatever we bring to the table, with our best intentions, is enough. Find comfort in knowing that you already are enough and celebrate in knowing that with the right attitude, you can go forward in becoming more of your true self.
So, how can we combat that voice that tells us we are not enough?
1. Notice your small victories.
What did you do today or this week that you can celebrate? So, maybe you and your kids did not get out of pajamas, they watched way too much tv and you failed to get any chores done today. But did you get your kids fed, changed and cleaned or at least the food wiped off their faces?
Did you hug and kiss them? Did they go to bed feeling loved? This is a talk I have to have with myself some days so I can confirm that I’m definitely enough and I’m doing a great job. You did a great job today, too, my friend.
2. Stop comparing yourself to others.
You are not that person. There’s no way of comparing two different people living completely different lives, no matter how similar their roles may appear to be. Look at yourself and realize you’re the only one who can be all of “you” and enough of “you” and you already are.
3. Love yourself without conditions.
“If I can get all of this done, while completing this and looking like this, I will approve of myself.” Whatever you enter into the “this” should not exist when it comes to loving and approving of yourself. Love yourself unconditionally and you will know that you’re enough.
You see, becoming more and being enough can coexist. Keep going forward as you discover more of your talents, as you learn more and as you explore your passions. But don’t ever look at yourself and make up conditions that are required for you to be enough.
As you are, just being, you are enough.